The Frontrunner

That was when I started thinking about people in relation to myself, diametrically, as if we could only approach one another from opposite ends, their position dictating my own.

And with that thought I became the surveyor of all action, the processor of all thought. I would take note of everything done without consciousness, without its own recognition. I made myself responsible for giving it all attention, offering my own validation of all existence and all measure of worth.

But what was the goal of this observation? Was I producing anything of value in this inspection and study, or was I only looking at how it would condition myself? Without application learning was a selfish, one-sided act of egotistical intent. I had to be a writer. I had to be a writer. Anything else would be avoidance, too proud for a simple attempt. There was no certainty of success, there didn’t need to be. I just had to watch, observe. Write. I, I, I.

Who were we without an audience?

Isabelle EymanComment